Revon's Life: Julie

I met the most interesting person at the diner today! We'll call her Julie. Me and my mom were enjoying a spot of chickpeas and taboule salad, when out of nowhere this young girl (somewhere around 15 to 18) comes up behind me and says hi to us. Says she was "excited" by my mom and brother's autism awareness shirts, and promptly informs us that she's on the spectrum herself. Exact quote: "Actually, I have Asperger's Syndrome."

We exchanged names, and I even offered her a fistbump, which she gingerly returned before returning to her friends.

I must admit that I found her rather charming, all things considered. She had a pleasant voice; a chubby, stocky frame, with pale, almost pinkish skin; and despite her initial boldness, kept about her an air of adorable innocence that could bring anyone to smile. She was the type of girl you'd want to hug and hold hands with. If my illness didn't preclude any possibility, I'd even admit that I found myself infatuated with her.

However, what truly struck me was not how attractive she was to me, but rather how she evoked an emotional reaction within me. Mulling over our brief encounter as I ate the rest of my salad, I soon realized just how rare such an event had become in my daily life. It was certainly pleasant, and I would more than welcome more of such occasions on a daily basis; but after giving it some cursory thought, I've realized that such an event won't happen again, not unless I induce it. The people I spend most of my time with seem to be set into the straight-and-narrow. Every aberration to that, in their eyes, carries with it the potential for social suicide.

I miss those days when my friends and acquaintances could chatter endlessly about random things. When I entered a crowded classroom in high school, people who'd never even met each other would banter and talk about current events, pop culture, video games, et cetera. Every day carried with it an opportunity to make new friends. Even as my health gradually got worse, even as I fell into depression, I still met new people and had tons of fun. Now, all I seem to do is watch them slowly drift away.

Some would say I'm pining for the days of old. I've always been wary of those sort of people, who trudge through life with hardened hearts, deafened to the small eccentricities of this earth. Personally, I'm still confident that I can return to those days. Somehow, someday, I will find someone who appreciates life as I do.

I know this isn't my best writing, but I felt compelled to muse on this event however I could. I might touch this up a little when my head's a bit clearer. ]]

Game Review: Huniecam Studio

< NOTE: This review is still under construction. Only reason I've published it is 'cause no one knows about my blog yet. >

HunieCam Studio is the second game developed by HuniePot, and could be considered a quasi-spinoff from their original outing, HuniePop. And it is with absolute sincerity that I hope it proves to be the nadir of the studio's development career.

Forget the art (which I'll get to in a bit): The two things that elevated the original Huniepop from "middling" to "masterpiece" were its entertaining game mechanics and its razor-sharp, refreshingly-vulgar wit. This was one of the first successful dating sims to be produced completely by Americans, and the writers took full advantage of their native vernacular to produce characters that genuinely sounded like real people.

I'll admit, for all its flaws, I've yet to find another game that rewards you with a giant golden dick.

You'll find trace amounts of these aspects in Studio, but compared to the original, the new game just doesn't measure up. Despite how it bills itself, the gameplay is less of a management sim with camgirls, and more of a PC-exclusive mobile game with a couple lewd motifs. Your mouse is always bouncing from one end of the screen to the other; delegating tasks to your girls, collecting resources from buildings, buying smokes and booze to fuel their addictions, et cetera. The game does have the good grace to pause when you're overviewing your finances and other statistics, but the rest of the time you're engaged in a frantic clickfest akin to a professional game 'a League. (Though apparently some people are pretty good at this sorta stuff; a day after release, the dev implemented a new "Rock-Hard" mode to give players extra challenge.)

An early screenshot from my first run. You unlock more shops in the beginning stages of the game.

And as for the charming dialogue from the first game? Eh, Kyu (the fairy girl) does provide some funny quips while running through the game mechanics, but your camgirls have marginally less personality than an individual unit from Command & Conquer. They've got a handful of lines for when you give them a task, but that's pretty much the extent of their ingame characterization. Seeing as you've got to manage their stress and addictions, I feel as if this is a missed opportunity of sorts. It would've made the game far more interesting if your girls actually gave you feedback on how you were managing them: Treat them well, and they'd compliment you from time to time; treat 'em like dirt, and they'd complain accordingly. The game as a whole just exhibits this disconnect between the player and the world s/he interacts with, kinda like a actual camgirl business, only without the real money to go with.

To be fair, it's clear HuniePot still has the talent. Kyu is entertaining as she's always been, and the blurbs for most of the new characters are downright hilarious. Special mention goes to Audrey and her "awesome coke habit".

Nikki ain't lookin' so hot these days. Neither is anyone else.

Now it's time to address the elephant in the room: The art style. Contrary to prevailing opinions, I don't really mind it all that much. Oh, don't get me wrong: This ain't no HuniePop, but it also ain't the "sexualized Bratz" that people claim it to be. That being said, HuniePop's art was downright luscious, while Studio's resembles a bad rendition of Skullgirls. (Just compare Filia's official art with Nikki, and you'll see what I mean.) There's nothing wrong with stylization, but HuniePot has taken it to the point where it actually detracts from the quality of the art itself. And remember how I mentioned the gameplay felt like a mobile game? Yeah, the rest of the graphics make it look like one too. The town map, where you spend most of your time, is reminiscent of a flash game from from the late 2000's. What's more, you rarely get to see any part of a character beyond their face; you can take a gander at your camgirls' standard portraits, but there's really not much to look at. And what's worse, assuming you do really well and unlock everything (the game only takes an hour or two), your only real reward is a single semi-racy CG PER CAMGIRL. And they ain't even that titillating either: Some ass here, some boobs there; unless you're the kinda guy who's puritan enough to jerk off ta pantyshots, there's literally no nudity whatsoever. Seriously HuniePot, the least you coulda done is hint that they were going commando or somethin'...

'Course, that's not to say the style's inherently bad... With more expressive portraits and a bit more attention to detail, the devs coulda made some downright bodacious-lookin' babes.

Let's see... Redeeming qualities? Well, it's cheap for one: Seven bucks regular. The music is decent, I guess. And of course, this minor slip-up aside, the dev is based as fuck.

Do yourself a favor: Let your wallet speak for you. Instead of buying this game, buy a spare copy of HuniePop for a friend. It's only a couple more dollars, but a hundred times more entertaining and worthwhile. That said, I'll admit there's still some fun to be had here. If ya liked HuniePop and you're looking for something different, or if you're genuinely a fan of fast-paced management sims, I'd definitely check it out sometime!

Reviews in a Nutshell