I met the most interesting person at the diner today! We'll call her Julie. Me and my mom were enjoying a spot of chickpeas and taboule salad, when out of nowhere this young girl (somewhere around 15 to 18) comes up behind me and says hi to us. Says she was "excited" by my mom and brother's autism awareness shirts, and promptly informs us that she's on the spectrum herself. Exact quote: "Actually, I have Asperger's Syndrome."
We exchanged names, and I even offered her a fistbump, which she gingerly returned before returning to her friends.
I must admit that I found her rather charming, all things considered. She had a pleasant voice; a chubby, stocky frame, with pale, almost pinkish skin; and despite her initial boldness, kept about her an air of adorable innocence that could bring anyone to smile. She was the type of girl you'd want to hug and hold hands with. If my illness didn't preclude any possibility, I'd even admit that I found myself infatuated with her.
However, what truly struck me was not how attractive she was to me, but rather how she evoked an emotional reaction within me. Mulling over our brief encounter as I ate the rest of my salad, I soon realized just how rare such an event had become in my daily life. It was certainly pleasant, and I would more than welcome more of such occasions on a daily basis; but after giving it some cursory thought, I've realized that such an event won't happen again, not unless I induce it. The people I spend most of my time with seem to be set into the straight-and-narrow. Every aberration to that, in their eyes, carries with it the potential for social suicide.
I miss those days when my friends and acquaintances could chatter endlessly about random things. When I entered a crowded classroom in high school, people who'd never even met each other would banter and talk about current events, pop culture, video games, et cetera. Every day carried with it an opportunity to make new friends. Even as my health gradually got worse, even as I fell into depression, I still met new people and had tons of fun. Now, all I seem to do is watch them slowly drift away.
Some would say I'm pining for the days of old. I've always been wary of those sort of people, who trudge through life with hardened hearts, deafened to the small eccentricities of this earth. Personally, I'm still confident that I can return to those days. Somehow, someday, I will find someone who appreciates life as I do.
I know this isn't my best writing, but I felt compelled to muse on this event however I could. I might touch this up a little when my head's a bit clearer. ]]
